It was, like, fluorescent, bright bedroom light, like, over the covers.
I was stunned and said no.
In a moment of wanting to feel closer to my boyfriend I grabbed a knife and cut him.
I felt ashamed and humiliated — how could my husband disrespect me like that? I hated the emotional roller coaster ride he had dragged me into — I kept alternating between guilt, depression, love, disgust, eagerness to please him… the list went on.